


The Interview

by fromthebeginningthen



Series: The Proposal Universe [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Credits scene, Humor, M/M, kind of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 12:59:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17622827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fromthebeginningthen/pseuds/fromthebeginningthen
Summary: That one scene during the credits of The Proposal, but HankCon'd.Won't make sense if you haven't read part 1 of this series!





	The Interview

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what to say about this other than I highly recommend watching the actual scene yourself, it's probably funnier that way!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hp0XDAhOABg

Hank and Connor were sat once more in those uncomfortable plastic chairs in front of Mr. Perkins’ desk. They didn’t have much time to prepare for this interview, so it was anyone’s guess how well they’d do.

Perkins clasped his hands together on his desk and leaned forward, doing his best to give them an interrogative stare. “So let me get this right. You two are engaged again.”   


“Yes,” They said together.

“For real?”

“Yes.”

“You’re sure you want to go through with this? Because one wrong answer and I’m going to take you down.”

Hank and Connor looked at each other and smiled. “Yes.”

Perkins sat back in his chair. “Let’s do it.”

***

Perkins: When did you and Hank first start dating?

Connor: Last week.

Perkins: That going well?

Connor: Yes, actually. Thank you for asking.

***

Perkins: What kind of deodorant does Connor use?

Hank: Uhhh. Men’s Speed Stick?

Perkins: What flavor? Musk? Alpine?

Hank: Uhhh…

***

Perkins: Was it love at first sight?   


Connor: Hah! No.

***

Amanda: I loved him from the beginning.

George:  _ Stares at her in shock. _

***

Perkins: What side of the bed does Hank sleep on?

Connor: He sleeps on the right.

Perkins: And what side of the bed do you sleep on?

Connor:  _ Brings hands to his temples and rubs them. _

***

Ramone: Are they soulmates? Ehhh. Will they kill each other? No.

***

Perkins: Are you a good driver?

Hank: Excellent driver, actually.

***

Connor:  _ Listing on his fingers. _ He blasts the music too loud to hear sirens, speeds, cuts people off, aggressive driving, tailgat-

***

Ramone: In my mind I see him with someone perhaps...more darker and spontaneous.

***

Gammy:  _ Covering a cat’s ears.  _ We don’t use the word Hank around Kevin. He still hasn’t forgiven him.

Gammy:  _ She removes her hands and demonstrates. The cat hisses every time she says Hank.  _ It’s the damnedest thing!

***

Connor: I have never farted in front of him. Nor will I ever fart in front of him.

***

Hank: He farts in his sleep.

***

Perkins: Would you consider Hank a good dancer?

Ramone: You can tell by the way he drinks soda pop that he’s a good dancer.

Perkins: Uh huh. And how is the soda pop relevant to dancing?

Ramone: I don’t understand.

***

-SWITCHING BETWEEN HANK AND CONNOR-

Connor: I call him honey.

Hank: Sweet pea.

Connor: Pumpkin.

Hank: Kid.

Connor: Sometimes I call him Henry…

***

Perkins: How do you spell “Ramone”?

Ramone: Erre, ah, em, oh, ene, ay.

Perkins: Could you do that again in English please?

***

Hank: When you say the position in the relationship-

Perkins: Top or bottom.

***

Connor: You’re asking me a question about who’s on top?

Perkins: You took an oath when you walked into this office.

Connor: I did not take an oath, when did I take an oath?

Perkins: Laura should have done that but she didn’t and that’s okay.

Connor: Who’s Laura?

Perkins: She’s the person behind you, don’t turn around.

Connor:  _ Turns around and sees an empty wall. _

***

Perkins: Which of the following numbers is not a prime?

Ramone: Seventeen.

Perkins: ...I’m sorry, let me say the list please.

***

Hank: Sorry?

Perkins: He knew your favorite color.

Hank: Blue?

Perkins: Wrong.

Hank: Red.

Perkins: Wrong.

Hank: Fuck I don’t know, maybe green?

Perkins: Wrong, it’s black.

Hank: What?

Perkins: Okay, moving on.

***

Connor: His favorite color is blue.

Perkins: What’s his favorite color when he’s not at home?   


Connor: ...I don’t know.

***

Perkins: Are you a citizen in this country, Ramone?

Ramone:  _ Through manic laughter.  _ Am I citizen in this country? What are you crazy?

***

Hank: What relevance does a fucking ball in a net or a poptart or a fruit roll-up have with my relationship with Connor?

Perkins: If you’re getting rude with me we have to stop.

***

Perkins: Who are you engaged to?

Connor: Hank Anderson.

Perkins: Very good, you got one right.

***

Perkins: Who are you engaged to?   


Hank: Connor.

Perkins: And on the wedding day, who will be next to you?

Hank: I’m going to marry Connor Stern.

Perkins: Is that your final answer?

Hank: I don’t understand, is this game show?

***

Ramone:  _ Singing.  _ God bless America, land that I love. See that’s- that’s a great song!


End file.
